Starting therapy can be a big step, exciting, tender, and sometimes overwhelming. Whether you’re new to therapy or returning after some time, that first conversation with a therapist matters. It’s more than just booking a session; it’s about seeing if this person is the right fit for you. Can they hold space for your story and your healing?
As a therapist and someone who’s sat on both sides of the conversation, I believe therapy is most powerful when it’s relational, collaborative, and aligned with your values. So here are 5 essential questions to ask in your first meeting (often called a consultation, intro call, or first session) with a therapist:
1. What’s your background and what brought you into this work?
Therapists are trained professionals and they’re also people with stories. Asking about their background (including their lived experience, if they’re open to sharing) can help you get a sense of their worldview, values, and what grounds them in this work. The therapeutic relationship is deeply relational. Connection matters!
2. How would you describe your therapeutic approach?
Every therapist works a little differently. Some may use cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), others may draw from somatic work, narrative therapy, or be trauma-informed. You don’t need to know all the technical terms, just ask how they show up in sessions and what their approach looks like in practice. Their response should feel clear, grounded, and aligned with what you need.
3. Do you see therapy as a collaborative process?
Therapy isn’t something that’s “done to” you. It should feel like a partnership, one where your voice is heard and your pace is respected. Ask how they work with clients to make decisions together and how they respond when a session doesn’t feel helpful or aligned.
4. How do we set goals together?
You might have a clear goal (“I want to work on anxiety”), or you might just feel stuck and not know where to begin, both are valid. A good therapist will support you in exploring what matters most and help translate that into meaningful steps without rushing you. Ask how they typically support clients in setting and reviewing goals.
5. I’m interested in (something specific to you — like somatic healing, cultural identity, or EMDR). Are you trained in this or open to integrating it?
This is where you bring your full self into the room. If there’s a healing practice or area that’s important to you, maybe you’re looking for a therapist who understands racial trauma, inner child work, or Tamil diaspora experiences – name it. Ask if they’re trained in it. This question helps ensure your needs aren’t left at the door.
Bonus: Practical Questions to Ask
These may feel less “deep,” but they’re just as important — they help you plan, budget, and feel safe.
- Do you offer virtual or in-person sessions? Or a mix of both?
- What’s your cancellation/rescheduling policy?
- How long are your sessions, and how often do you meet with clients?
- How does payment work? Do you accept insurance or offer sliding scale options?
- What’s your approach to confidentiality and privacy? How do you protect my information?
Final Thoughts
The right therapist won’t just have all the answers, they’ll make you feel safe to ask the questions.
Give yourself permission to be curious, take your time, and trust your gut. This is your healing journey, and you deserve to feel seen and supported from the very beginning.